I'm beginning to value and enjoy my alone time more again lately. For a long time now I've been scared to be on my own, avoiding myself because I was scared to face who I am. There have been times in my life that I have spent a lot of time alone and it always in those moments that I learn the most about myself and am able to grow emotionally, physically, spiritually, creatively.
I value my time with others a lot but just like we need to sleep to allow ourselves to subconsciously process our experience of the day, we must also allow our wakeful selves to process throughout the day. It's possible to do this process with others but for me when I'm with others my mind is often on making sure their needs are met and I tend to modify myself to fit the situation.. as many of us do. This can be exhausting and we can start to lose touch with who we really are if all our energy is put outward. Being alone gives us space to be ourselves without the judgement of others or the need to please and care for everyone around us. In these moments we can give all our love and attention to ourselves. For a while recently when I was alone a lot of judgement, anger, self-hatred and worry was coming up. The more I lean into alone time and accept it, the more I notice these negative feelings dissipate. Tonight I spent time doing things that I enjoy.. singing, working out, dancing, making delicious food, yoga, listening to chill music. I didn't have to worry if my singing was bad, if my dance moves looked ridiculous, if the food wasn't what someone else wanted, if I was doing the yoga moves right, if the music was pleasing to someone else.... I just got to enjoy my time with me doing things that feel nourishing to me. If you notice you haven't really spent that kind of alone time with yourself in a while, I really suggest you try. It may feel uncomfortable at first but I promise the more you create space for yourself, even in small moments, the easier it will get and the better you can show up in the world because you will have given your soul exactly what it is craving - your love and acceptance.
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